So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
