If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Alive.
So much puke
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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