bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
