2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
