This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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