I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
