y did u give ur computer a hand job?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
