i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
