awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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