Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
