shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
