Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just want nice things and good sex
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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