TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
