as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
