the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
