We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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