I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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