a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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