Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
