Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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