I'd wear matching sweaters with you
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
