You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
