why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
