you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
