If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
