Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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