I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Even my vagina gasped.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
