she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think I won the penis lottery.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
