God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
