Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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