My friends, they love my intelligence
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
