i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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