thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
