They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
