I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
