She's JV to your varsity
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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