I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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