but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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