It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
