I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
