It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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