how can u be prego again
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
