you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
