I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We named our party play list daddy issues
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
