i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
