oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
