Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
