Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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