Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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