White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
